When is the last time you truly rested like my Hannah Beth is in the above picture?  I mean truly deep down in your soul rested and relaxed.  I don’t think I am the only one who is having a hard time resting these days.  It feels like the world has gone a bit crazy.  I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on TV.  I am simply a single mom trying to make sense of the chaos that is unfolding daily in the world around me and, if I am honest, I am confused and bewildered at what I am watching.  The no-nonsense, commonsense child of the ’70s in me say,s “Take some extra precautions, wash your hands more often.  If you are sick or your child is sic,k stay home.  Be cautious, but not fearful.  Keep a watchful eye on things, but carry on with life.”  But then I pick up a newspaper, see something in passing on TV, scroll through my social media feed, or try to buy toilet paper at Walmart, and that tight feeling starts in my chest, and uneasiness hits me in the pit of my stomach, and before I know it, I have spiraled straight into fear, uncertainty, zombie apocalypse end-time scenarios, and want nothing more than to have everybody I love at home with me, lock the doors, pull the shades down, and binge on Netflix and Disney+ after buying all the toilet paper, Diet Cokes, and Pancho’s Cheese Dip within a 25-mile radius.  And as much as I hate to admit it, the latter has described me more than the former lately.

Rest seems like a distant dream, something that just isn’t possible in today’s world—worrying about a sickness that we don’t understand attacking our children while we are helpless to do anything. Watching our retirement and savings disappear over the fear of something we can not comprehend. Trying to calm a child in the middle of the night after they have come into your room after having a nightmare about getting sick, or even worse, having their momma get sick with something they are watching all the adults in their life panic about.  And trying to console the older child as sport’s tournaments they have worked so hard to earn a place in are canceled, and graduations and even weddings hang in the balance.  And none of this is conducive to rest, is it?

All the while, watching my nation, the nation that I have pledged allegiance to,  cheered for, defended and been proud of for all of my 52 years become more and more politically divided in a time when we desperately need to come together, to work together, and to love and encourage each other more than ever.  It’s pretty easy to begin to feel hopeless, fearful, and maybe even angry and bitter.  Since long term hibernation is not feasible, we need a game plan to overcome all those negative emotions.  To find our balance once again in a very unbalanced time.  To take control of what we can change, to release what we can not, and to do these things moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day, giving ourselves and those around us the grace and compassion to regain our equilibrium and move forward in these very uncertain times.  And since you have read this far, can I offer a few suggestions (in list form of course!) to help in the process?

• Unplug– I am not suggesting we completely turn a deaf ear to the situation, but the amount of media that we are consuming is just not healthy.  Find balance in this area, and remember the younger members of your family need to get their news from the adults in their lives that they trust, not the news media.
• Get Outside-Take some walks with those you love, breathe in the fresh air and sunshine, it can’t hurt.  Maybe playgrounds aren’t the best idea right now, but climbing trees in your own backyard can provide a good diversion.
• Enjoy Home-It may not be the beach or an amusement park, but you can find ways to make staycations fun as well.  Learn a new card game and have a tournament….winner gets to pick the next dinner and movie night!!  Or have a good old fashioned board game tournament for the same prize.  Maybe it’s time to do that home project while you have more hands-on-deck….or help your child re-arrange their room and let them pick the way they move the furniture around.
• Have a Movie/TV Marathon-Find a TV show that you loved as a kid and introduce your kids to it.  Or have a movie marathon…back to back Toy Story or Back to the Future complete with popcorn and M&Ms.
• Take Time To Teach a New Skill-Maybe you can do handi-work, play an instrument, make a new shelf or bookcase, cook a fancy meal, or, if they are old enough, teach them to drive!
• Organize Your Photos-Take time to walk down memory lane with your child.  Tell them the stories from their childhood, stories about relatives they never got to meet.  Help them understand what an important place they have in that history.  They are probably feeling a little uncertain about things, and having concrete moments of certainty in their past will go a long way to help them navigate an uncertain future.

These are just a few to get you started. Providing a place of calm in the middle of a stormy time is an invaluable gift you can give your family and loved ones.  Keeping a positive spirit is one of those things we can take control of and change. And taking time to check on family and friends is a way we can show grace and compassion during this time.  If each one of us does our part to help alleviate fear and bring a bit of sunshine on a cloudy day, maybe, just maybe we will find that rest our heart and soul so desperately crave.

Continue reading “Don’t Call It Ministry, Simply Call It Monday” →

I don’t know about the weather where you live, but here in the mid-south,  we have had a lot of rainy gray days….like looking for Noah and the ark kind of rainy gray days.  And when you string a week of these rainy gray days together, it becomes hard to maintain a positive outlook on said rainy gray days.  Did I mention it had been really rainy?  And very gray???  Not the pretty soft dove gray.  No, this is that cold industrial steel kind of gray.  Do you get the picture???  I mean, if April showers bring May flowers, what do February deluges bring?  I will tell you what they bring, they bring depression and feelings of malaise.  They bring about February Funk.  Maybe these feelings are made worse with post-holiday letdown, I don’t really know.  All I know is the feelings are very real but very also very treatable.  You know my love of lists, so it should come as no surprise that my ideas of combatting February Funk will be presented in list form.  Here is my How to Beat the February Funk:

• Stay Active-Pulling yourself out of bed on cold dark mornings is hard, but maintaining your momentum and focus will help to get you through the dark days.  You don’t have to go to a gym to stay active, however, even a 5-minute stretching routine will get your blood pumping.  Exercise releases endorphins, which trigger positive feelings in the body, so get moving!
• Lighten Up-During the winter months, the hours of sunlight decrease, so we need to combat it with lighting up our surroundings.  Turn on cozy table lamps and bask in the light.  If you have a fireplace, use the winter months to hone your fire-making skills.  A bright fire will add both warmth and light to your home during cold and dreary nights, and many times will provide just the right atmosphere for a hearth-side gathering.
• Start a New Hobby or Project-Winter is the perfect time for indoor projects and interests.  With no yard or garden work to do, turn your creative eye to the ongoing to-do list for your home.  Freshen up the walls with a coat of paint, maybe a brighter color.  Or maybe it is the right time to learn how to refinish that piece of furniture you picked up for next to nothing last summer at the thrift store.  Not only will you have the satisfaction of learning a new skill, but you will have the gratification that comes with checking something off your to-do list.
• Treat Yourself-Now this isn’t a suggestion that you go on an expensive shopping trip to New York and buy all the latest designer clothing and handbags.  Or going on exotic trips to warmer climates.  Treating yourself can be something as simple as picking up a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store.  If you have a little extra in your budget, a manicure, pedicure, or perhaps a massage would be just the thing to add a little sunshine to your gray days.  Or maybe a trip to your favorite coffee shop or bookstore is in order.  Just a little something to remind you that spring will be here soon!
• Try a Little Hygge-What is hygge you ask….it is the Danish word that means a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment.  It’s all about making your home feel cozy and welcoming during the cold, grey days of winter.  Maybe that means adding a cozy throw on a couch to wrap up in while you binge NetFlix.  Maybe it means getting mocha scented candles to light or having comforting soups and stews simmering on the stove or cooking in your crockpot.  Or maybe you splurge on some new loungewear or fuzzy socks.  The point is that instead of thinking of being “stuck” at home as a winter punishment, begin to look at your home as your own warm and comfy place to retreat from the worries of the world.  It’s all a matter of perspective!
• Make Time for Fun and Fellowship-I don’t know about you, but when it is cold and dreary and dark, the last thing I want to do is go back out once I get home.  But spending time with friends and family is a very important part of battling the winter blues.  Sharing laughter over a meal makes even the coldest night seem a bit warmer.  And if going out is not your thing, invite people to your home.  If you enjoy cooking, then whip up a fancy meal, or, if you are like me and don’t like cooking have everyone bring their favorite dish or the leftovers in their fridge(as long as they are still recognizable!).  Or get a pizza delivered, the point of the night isn’t the food, it’s taking time to connect and share with others.

Learning to be content in all seasons of life is a valuable life skill that, once mastered, will serve you well.  There is something beautiful and worth celebrating every day.  Sometimes you just have to look a little harder to find it.  And if all else fails,  remember, Spring is only 29 days away!

The more that you read, the more things you will know.  

The more that you learn,

the more places you will go.

Dr. Seuss

One of my resolutions this year was to make more time for reading.  I knew if I didn’t intentionally decide to do this, I wouldn’t ever find the time.  And the funny thing is I used to love to read.  And the few times I did find the time to read, I always enjoyed it.  But I found myself picking up my phone more and more when I had free time.  Netflix before bedtime became my nighttime routine.  Before I knew it, an entire year had passed, and I could count the number of books I had read on one hand.  A few years earlier, when my youngest was learning to read, I had instilled a nighttime reading rule in our home; you could stay up to 9:00 pm if you read/looked at books from 8:00 till bedtime….and it could be in Mom’s bed as long as you were reading.  As you can see, it was a big success. I decided the time had come to implement a reading rule on Mom as well.

One thing I have learned about me and habits is that I need to concentrate on the why of the habit and not the what of the habit.  I am a list-maker at heart, so my why was answered in the form of a list.

Why Reading is a good idea:

• Mental Stimulation-Studies have shown that staying mentally stimulated can slow the progress of Alzheimer’s and Dementia, since keeping your brain active and engaged prevents it from losing power. You have heard the term “use it or lose it,” right?  Well, the brain is like any other muscle in the body and requires regular exercise to keep it healthy and in shape.  
• Reading Is Contagious- Did you know that you can help others by reading? Many parents and adults wish that their families had read more. Exposing your children to your reading habits can be a great way to help encourage them to pick up a book.  In a world where everyone is constantly plugged in, your kids seeing you intentionally choosing to do something different makes a definite impact in their life, even if they don’t tell you! 
• Improved Concentration- In today’s always moving world, our attention is often drawn in a million different directions.  When you are reading, you are training your mind to concentrate on one thing at a time.  The benefits gained from improved concentration carry into other areas and tasks in your life.

• Increased Vocabulary-It goes without saying that the more you read, the more words you are exposed to.  Being well-spoken and articulate can lead to greater self-confidence, which, in turn, can lead to increased job performance.
• Becoming A Lifetime Learner- Education is not cheap!  Classes, seminars, and online courses cost money.  But you know what is free?  A trip to your local library!  Is there a subject you are interested in and would like to learn more about?  Or how about a skill you need to brush up on for work?  There is a high probability that there is a book available at your local library that can help.
• Better Conversationalist– As you begin to explore different books, magazines, and newspapers, you will find that you have more to add to conversations with co-workers, friends, and family.  As you talk about what you have read with others, you strengthen your communication skills, your listening skills, and begin to develop opinions and ideas that are your own.
• Reduces Stress-Losing yourself in a great story is a perfect remedy for the stress of day to day life.  The very act of slowing down and concentrating on what is in front of you can help you relax and unwind.

So now that I had my why I needed to figure out my how.  One thing I have been practicing this year is breaking big goals down into small bites.  I admit that the Type A in me gets a little antsy and wants to make changes in one big step.  But I am proud to say that it is now towards the end of January and I have managed to keep all but 2 of my tiny steps toward big goals-goals…way to go me!!!!  And of course my how has to be in the form of a list…

How to Develop a Reading Habit

• Develop Small Goals-Instead of saying you want to read 40 books this year after not reading consistently for the last three years, say you will read 10 minutes every day.  After you have mastered that consistently, add ten more minutes.  I think it is a good idea to review your goals monthly and adjust them as needed. I also think it’s a good idea when first establishing a new habit, to try to do the activity at the same time every day.  Before you go to sleep, first thing in the morning, during your lunch break, while the kid’s nap, just go ahead and write it in your schedule.   Before you know it, you will be checking books off your reading list.  Speaking of which…
• Start A List Of Books You Want To Read-Has this ever happened to you; you are listening to your favorite podcast or reading your favorite blog, and they are talking about a book they just finished that changed their life.  Or you are at work and hear some co-workers talking about a fantastic book they just completed.  You tell yourself you will remember the name and check the library or book store for it.  I can only speak for myself, but I rarely remember it and end up just getting frustrated when I try to find it.  Just keep a note on your phone or a page in your planner with the names of books people recommend. Next time you are at the library or a book store, you have your very own curated book list at your fingertips!
• Choose The Right Medium For You–Nowadays, there are multiple ways that you can experience books: read them either with a physical book or electronically on your favorite reader, or even listen to them via audiobooks.  The key is to find what works for you. I need to feel the book in my hand and read it with a pen and highlighter nearby.  I tried a Kindle, but it wasn’t the same feeling.  But I do know one of the benefits of audio and e-books is portability.  Which leads me to my next point…
• Always Carry A Book With You-As we just mentioned, this is very easy with phones, tablets, and e-readers.  You can easily have thousands of books available at the touch of a button.  But even with physical books, it is possible to keep a book with you,  Granted, we aren’t talking huge, oversized coffee table-sized hardbacks, but a normal-sized book is very do-able.  Slip it in your backpack, purse, or briefcase.  I always keep a book in the car for when I am stuck in traffic or find myself with a bit of free time at a coffee shop.

• Surround Yourself With Books-Ok, maybe surround isn’t the right word, but have books located throughout your home.  We have bookshelves in every bedroom, the den and the living room.  Even though there are no bookcases in the kitchen or bathroom, there are still stacks of books placed in strategic, but out of the way places.   There are also lots of pillows and throws scattered about to make any chair into a cozy reading nook!
• Read Aloud To Your Kids-Even if your kids are older and read on their own, they probably still love to be read to.  I know when I was reading aloud to my youngest, my older two would find their way into the room.  And as an added bonus, you can go back and re-read some of your childhood favorites or maybe discover new ones that you fall in love with.  Which leads me to the next point…
• Make It Enjoyable-If you start reading a book, and it isn’t keeping your interest, stop reading it, and move on to the next one on your list.  Sometimes I feel like we take the same approach to books as we do our “clean your plate mentality,” we are somehow wasteful if we don’t finish every book we start.  That’s simply not true.  Life is too short to read boring books.  By giving yourself permission to quit, if you don’t like it, you will become more open to trying new genres and discovering new authors.  And on that note, make sure you read a mix of fiction and non-fiction.  They both play an essential part in a well-rounded book diet.
• Discover, Or, Rediscover Your Local Library And Used Book Stores-Granted, Amazon has made it extremely easy to buy books online and have them, many times, the next day.  But there is something to be said about looking through rows and rows of books in person.  It is a lovely way to spend an afternoon.  Most libraries offer e-books as well as physical copies for absolutely free.  And a lot of libraries have used book stores with incredible prices, with all proceeds going to support the local libraries.  Everybody wins with that choice!

The most important thing is to just get out there and read.  Don’t wait for your schedule to clear, the kids to get older or any other excuse.  To quote the Nike slogan, JUST DO IT….you won’t regret it!

I do believe

something very

magical can happen

when you read a good book.

J.K. Rowling