Persevere

37199423_10212282213031226_6766893989015584768_nSometimes things come out of what seems to be nowhere…and kinda sucker punches you right in the gut…and it takes your breath away…and maybe you even feel disoriented, defeated,lost and alone. But then you realize your in the palm of His hand…and nothing takes Him by surprise and everything that touches your life is Father filtered. And you aren’t called to understand, or make sense of it..,you are simply called to stand tall and and keep your eyes forward not backwards at what has happened, or sideways at how others are standing or down in defeat or inward in bitterness but forward at the Son….because at the end of the day The greatest of these is love…and love ALWAYS works…maybe not in our time…or the way we think it should…or in a way we understand…but it works…Every. Single. Time. Amen.

I Believe In You

37863573_10212352235621747_8658021076455915520_nA very personal post today with a lot of words, so you have been warned.  The picture on the left was taken May 11st, 2012, the day I entered Lakeside. The picture on the right was taken on July 23rd, 2018. I don’t even recognize the person on the left anymore. But I keep the bracelet to remind me how far I have come. There are so many people walking around out there that feel like I did in that picture on the left, defeated, hopeless and broken beyond repair. The night before this picture was taken I had taken an entire bottle of sleeping pills in hopes of ending the horrible pain I felt inside. But God has other plans. And I am so thankful He did. I am posting this because I know there are people who feel like I did in the picture on the left. And they are real feelings. And they can consume you and make you feel like there is no way out from the blackness you feel. I understand those feelings but I can promise you there is a better way. It won’t be easy…as a matter of fact, it may be the hardest thing you have ever done. I know it was for me. And there will still be dark moments. But you are stronger than the moments, because you are a mighty warrior. And I believe in you. And so do a lot of other people. You feel isolated and alone right now, but the simple act of seeking help will show you what an amazing support group you have. Because you are an amazing person created by an amazing God. There are many people out there who have walked this same journey you are on. Reach out to someone and let them walk beside you. I would love to be that someone for you. Because I believe in you.

 

Buttercups

The buttercup has always been my favorite flower….I remember every single year in the spring my mom would buy me a big bunch at Market Basket….the smell just smelled like spring and new beginnings to me. When I lived in Mt. Pleasant there was a field I took the kids to every year to pick buttercups…we named it Buttercup Field. I haven’t been to Buttercup Field since 2012…the year that marked the end of so many things in our lives. Recently, however, I have begun to see that endings are also new beginnings. So today after church I told the kids we were going to Buttercup Field and they were so excited…because they remembered …they had just been waiting on me be ready to remember too. So we turned down the street and looked to the right with eager anticipation for the field of yellow that had always been there….but it was gone. Totally and completely gone. The field had been plowed up and there wasn’t a single buttercup to be seen. We were so disappointed. As I turned the car around Colton asked “Momma where did they go? Didn’t they know we would be back?” img_5488“I guess they got tired of waiting,”  I said. It was quiet and then all of the sudden Colton said “Momma stop the car!! Look!!! They didn’t get tired of waiting…they just crossed the street to a new home to wait for you to come back!!!” And sure enough there they were…across the street…not as many…but the ones that were there were bigger and their stems were stronger and their color was brighter. Then I realized why I love buttercups so much..they are resilient. They can be trampled down…choked out by weeds…and even have their home destroyed..and they will find a way to cross the street to a new home where they will bloom again…bigger, stronger and with more color than ever before. They tell my story….and God knew that story all those years ago…and gave a little girl in a red brick house exactly what she needed to one day cross the street and bloom again…..